Memories

731 days ago at about this time Brent and I were sitting in a little corner of a Starbucks just minutes away from the apartment he would bring me home to the next day. Brent looked a little pathetic because he was struggling to fight off a wicked cold that threatened to take some of the life out of him for his wedding day. I looked raggedy with no make-up on, my hair back in a messy knot and sweatpants...not to mention I felt as if I was coming down with Brent's cold. Nonetheless, we were giddy, mushy and sentimental as we presented our wedding gifts to each other. I gave him the project I had been working on ever since our engagement: a journal full of cute text message conversations, love letters, pages from my own diary, little mementos from special dates...a complete chronology of the development of our relationship. On the inside cover of the book was an envelope that held the vows I had written and prepared to read to him in front of God and 150 friends and family the next day. Brent gave me a Bible...the very Bible I assumed I had lost over a month ago...the very one whose leather and binding was falling apart, so he confiscated it and sent it off to get rebound. His gift also included a new ESV study Bible for himself, and a leather bound version of his favorite daily devotional for us to share. His gift meant a lot to me because it was a further assurance that as my husband he was going to lead me to know and love Christ more, day by day. We spent the rest of our short time together that morning holding each others hands and giggling as we exclaimed, "It's actually happening!! Tomorrow!"

I made a stop at Macy's on my way home to go to the Christian Dior counter. I needed eye shadow for the big day. I would have purchased this key element of the wedding day make over MONTHS earlier, but up until that day I had assumed I was going to borrow the eye shadow from a friend, an arrangement that I had recently discovered wasn't going to work out, so I had to purchase the eye shadow for myself.

So I approached the woman at the Dior counter and inquired about the eye shadow I was looking for...she led me over to her selections promptly. Because I was bursting with excitement I filled her in on what was happening...I was to be married the next day! She looked at me a little oddly. I can't blame her. There I stood, alone, with no bridesmaids, purchasing make up for a wedding that was to take place in less than 24 hours, and my face looked pale and blotchy and zitty. Yes, zitty. I was suffering from a terribly painful breakout at the time...and I hadn't bothered to put on make-up before I left home that morning. After I paid for the make-up and was about to leave the counter, the woman offered this: "Make sure you wear concealer. Lots of concealer." She was just trying to be helpful. :)

I went home and spent the next few hours wrapping gifts for bridesmaids, parents, florists, everyone who put their time and energy and love into our big day. I took a long shower, shaved my legs till they were smooth as can be, and primped myself up for the rehearsal. My sister in law was the only other person at my parents' house that day, and she kept remarking at the lack of my panic. I have to admit, I felt a little panicy on the inside...I was SURE and CONFIDENT that I wanted to go through with my vows the next day, but I was a little anxious about the logistics of it all. Brent and I had decided on a morning ceremony, starting at 9 o'clock, which meant that pictures would have to start promptly at 8, which meant the bridal party would have to be at the church no later than 7:45, which meant I had to leave my hairdresser's place no later than 7, which meant that I had to be at my hairdresser's place no later than 6, which meant I had to leave my house no later than 5:30, which meant I needed to be out of bed and completely packed for my honeymoon no later than 4:30 am. 4:30 am, on my wedding day. All of that for a 9 am ceremony. Crazy. But still, in retrospect, so worth it.

Brent picked me up for the rehearsal at about 2:30 pm, I think. It was to start at 3. When we arrived at the church we were both blown away at how our friends and family had transformed it. One of my bridesmaids was the official florist who had come up with all the plans and decorations based on my basic color preferences and favorite flowers. She performed wonderfully at delegating work to probably 10-15 other people who volunteered their time to help set up the church and reception hall. Brent and I walked through the entryway, the chapel, the reception hall, gasping at the beautiful floral transformation that had taken place. It truly seemed to me a fairytale setting for our wedding.

The rehearsal began and was completed smoothly...we had the best wedding coordinator we could have asked for. An old friend of my mom's that gave us her services for free. She ran that rehearsal with an iron fist, and I am so thankful she did. It gave everyone else a break from feeling helplessly in control of something, and it gave me a sense of calm that someone else knew how the logistics were going to work out, and how to communicate those logistics to everyone else involved. I'm still so thankful to God for her.

Then we were off to our rehearsal dinner that my soon to be in-laws so graciously hosted at the romantic Beckham Grill. A multiple course steak dinner was provided, but for some reason the dish that stands out to me was the french onion soup. Delicious. And comforting, seeing as I was coming down with Brent's cold. We did a little bit of dancing at the rehearsal dinner, because the church we were to be married at was a Baptist church and didn't allow dancing in their reception hall. So Brent and I danced our "First Dance" to "If I Ain't Got You" and my dad and I danced to "I Loved Her First."

By the end of the night Brent was struggling severely with his cold, and we were all getting anxious at how early we would have to wake up the next morning. After making sure everyone got their gifts and seeing their reactions to them, Brent and I made as early of a night as possible by saying our goodbyes and whisking out of there. He dropped me off at my home, and before I got out of the car we kissed. It would be our last kiss before we were man and wife.

I stayed up a little later than I should have that night joking around with my brother, chatting with my parents, and making sure I had everything packed for the honeymoon. When I finally laid down in bed for the night, I had those tinglies in the pit of my stomach that made sleep evasive.

It was surprisingly difficult to wake up the next morning at 4:30 am. I had thought my adrenaline and excitement was going to propel me out of bed, but in those moments of reaching out to shut off my alarm I actually had to convince myself that waking up this early for my WEDDING was an exciting thing.

I took a relaxing ten minute bath, got into some comfy sweats, and went about doing my make-up...with lots and lots of concealer. (Oh, my poor painful swollen zitty face that day.) I discovered that my voice was completely hoarse...Brent's cold had hit me hard. I brought my suitcase and my wedding dress downstairs where my dad was waiting in his suit, ready to drive me to my hairdresser's house. My brother decided to come with us at that early hour...I guess he just wanted to soak up time with his sister before she became a wife.

We got to my hairdresser's house promptly at 6 am, and I sat in her kitchen while she primped and curled and twisted and sprayed, all the while wearing jammies, slippers and a big comfy robe. She sent me off to the bathroom to get a good look in the mirror to make sure my hair was just how I wanted it...it was perfect. She hugged me good-bye and sent me with warm wishes. At the sight of me with my wedding hair, tiara and veil in place my dad became a little soft and vulnerable, but moments later he whipped himself into place.

From there we raced to the chapel. Brent called me as we were on our way and discovered my lack of voice...he laughed and said he liked it. We couldn't wait to see each other, but we had decided long before that his first glance at me that day would be as I was coming down the aisle to him.

We arrived at the church and I dashed off to the bridesmaids ready room. Such a sweet time with my girls...my older sister, my best friend, and my mentor/best friend. All three looked so beautiful in their cherry red gowns. They all chipped in to help button up my dress, and my sister helped me with the touch-ups of my make-up.

Soon we were whisked off by our photographer to go take photos of me with my bridesmaids. Her second shooter was simultaneously taking photos of the groomsmen, being careful the two groups didn't cross paths. The hour flew by as quickly as five minutes, and soon enough we rushed back to the church to gather ourselves for the beginning of the ceremony. My dad knocked at the bridesmaids ready room and came in to pray with me for this huge event.

The ceremony began. Parents were walked down the aisle and groomsmen took their place to the main theme of Forest Gump. The music faded, then the main theme of Ratatouille started. My bridesmaids made their way slowly and elegantly down the aisle to the pretty music, then my dad carried his 1 1/2 year old granddaughter to the start of the aisle, set her down, and told her to go to her mother (my matron of honor). She decided to run down the aisle with a big smile, yelling "Rah-rah-rah-rah!" the whole way down. The chapel erupted with laughter. So did I. My dad came back for me, and we journeyed out to the start of the aisle. We began our walk toward Brent as the crescendo came, and my joy at the reality of this moment made my heart swell.

The ceremony was short and sweet. Our good friend and my bridesmaid's husband officiated for us, and my dad gave a short message on marriage and what it has to do with salvation. My brother played a guitar solo, "Here, There, and Everywhere," and my sister-in-law sang a duet with a good friend of ours, "Come What May." It was magical. We became man and wife, and we walked back down the aisle to Ratatouille's "Le Festin" in ecstasy.

Family photos came next, then we were whisked off by our photographers for bride and groom shots. We were away from the reception hall much longer than we had intended, but our photographers were unrelenting and would not set us free to go enjoy the rest of our celebration until they were content with their shots. It felt like they walked us around the entire city of Pasadena finding the most artistic places to take romantic photos. I am so thankful for the photos and the talent of our photographers, but I still cringe every time I remember how long our guests were waiting for us to arrive at the reception.

Thankfully my brother and sister-in-law kept everyone entertained by their emceeing. While we were away they passed around the guests two baby outfits, one for a baby boy and one for a baby girl. They said that when the outfits got back to the microphones, the outfit with the most money inside represented the gender of Brent and Hayley's first child. When we arrived at the reception hall we were greeted with the news that our first baby was to be a girl, as the girl's outfit was about $100 heavier. Oh, and Brent and I picked up some cash for the honeymoon.

The rest of the reception was full of laughter and games, feasting and cake. It was the best wedding either of us had ever been to. It featured the best looking and tasting cake in my memory...handcrafted by my mother-in-law. My voice was nothing but a croak that made people cringe and tell me to stop talking. It was wonderful.

As Brent and I pulled out of the church parking lot as man and wife, our car was pelted with wet, soggy carnation flower balls that no longer had any better use.

Our first stop was our apartment. We parked and Brent walked me to the gate. I thought how odd we must look to anyone peering out of there window at that moment...all gussied up in wedding attire, when everyone else in our complex had probably had a lazy and uneventful Saturday morning thus far. Brent picked me up and carried me over our threshold...we were home.

We got ready to head down to Anaheim where we were staying at the California Grand Hotel at Disneyland that night. I was feeling rotten and exhausted with my cold at that point, and anything above a whisper brought searing pain to my throat. I removed my make-up, took out my contacts and washed my hair, put on comfortable clothes and then we were off to the start of our honeymoon.

When we checked in at the hotel, Brent proudly proclaimed that the woman to his right was his new bride. The lady behind the counter practically did a double take at me...could this woman have been a bride only hours ago? Pale, blotchy and zitty face, wet and unbrushed hair, glasses on her face, looking as exhausted as if she had run a marathon that day? She congratulated us nonetheless and gave us "Just Married" pins and a signed photo of Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

We ordered room service that night and took a break from eating to go out on the balcony where we had a perfect view of Disneyland's fireworks show. So perfect. The place where we met was where we ended our magical wedding day.

Oh, sweet memories.