A Shot in the Dark

So I've been on the search for a full time job since mid-November '09. Although, I must admit, I didn't get feisty about the job search until early January - it's hard to be passionate about finding a job when the holidays are upon you. Anyways, I've been looking for a job for a LONG TIME. I usually spend two hours of every week day finding open positions, writing cover letters, tweaking my resume, and emailing employers trying to convince them that they should hire ME.

I have a degree in astrophysics, and I have experience working as an engineer. So these are the types of positions I've been applying for:

• Junior Health Physicist - This is still the most promising job lead so far. If I got it I would be working for the Radiologic Health Branch of the CA Department of Public Health, certifying and licensing companies that use radiation producing equipment.
• Environmental Test Technician - This is a job I didn't get at JPL. I would have been running a thermal vacuum chamber.
• Entry-Level Engineering Technician - I'm still in the running for this one, but it seems to be a slow process. I would work at the Quality Auditing Institute, testing construction and plumbing products to make sure they meet the standards their makers claim they meet.

If you know me through my girly-girl blog, then you're probably confused as to why I'm pursuing such technical positions, or why I chose to study astrophysics in the first place. And you're not alone. My best girly-girl friend, who I grew up having tea parties with and doing makeovers with and still love to go shopping with, doesn't understand the technical, science-y part of me either. It's something we never talk about, because it's not a common-ground type of subject for us.

And I have to admit, at many points during this job search I have come close to bursting into tears, throwing up my hands and crying, "Why did I EVER choose astrophysics!!!! Now I'm DOOMED to technical, non-cutesie, non-Hayley-type disciplines."

I know the reason that I chose astrophysics.

It's because I was dead set on becoming an astronaut. I still get jealous whenever more astronauts are sent to space.

It's because I get tingles when I read about the fantastic things going on outside of our Earth in the Universe.

It's because I love math and physics fascinates me.

It's because I thought I could have the best of both worlds. I thought I could work and make money doing the things I'm good at and the things I'm intrigued by, and spend my free time indulging in my passion for cooking, decorating, designing, party planning, etc.

So far, I haven't given up hope that I can get a technical job AND cook and decorate and dress fashionably and be an all-around girly-girl.

But a couple days ago, during my two hours of looking for a job, I started thinking, "Maybe I should embrace the fact that at heart, I'm just a girl who REALLY loves home decorating and fashion. Maybe I should look for a job that would develop THAT side of me."

So I went to Anthropologie's website. A store I feel at home in. A store whose products I feel familiar around. A store that inspires me. A store that has products like this,

And when you browse through the store, you find breathtaking displays like this,

(By the way, the product pics were taken from the Anthropologie website, and the display picture was found here. Just covering my bases here.)

I found a job posting for the Anthropologie store in Pasadena. A job as the Display Coordinator. I read the job description, and the position is just what it sounds like. The Display Coordinator is responsible for putting together store displays like the one seen above.

I flipped out. I want a job like that SO SO badly. To me, it would be like playing all day. I'd love to have free reign on my creative energies and almost unlimited supplies to make my visions reality. Oh I would love it.

But the thing is, I don't have ANY experience or background with art or design...unless you count the little art and design projects I work on for my own home. I knew they probably wouldn't pick me for the job, because my resume displays things like "Technical Assistant at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory" and "Built and tested simulator prototypes." But I couldn't walk away from the opportunity without even trying.

So I woke up yesterday morning and took special care in getting ready to make sure I looked the part of an Anthropologie employee. This is how I looked:

I was all psyched and ready to go hand the manager my application and tell her why she should give me a shot. But my trip to the store was anti-climactic; I had car trouble along the way and by the time I got there the manager had left for the day. I wasn't about to just leave my application with a sales clerk for the manager to find and throw away later, so I left, determined to come back the next day at store opening time.

Round two of getting myself primped and ready to walk the walk of a hip Anthropologie employee:

(Note: please pretend you didn't see the water stains on my bathroom mirror. By the time you finish reading this, they won't be on my bathroom mirror any longer.)

I had a whole speech for the manager planned out in my head, but I was prepared for the fact that when I got into the store, my knees would go weak, I would stumble over my words and I would be so shy that I would simply hand her my application and promptly leave the store. It's just how it happens with me. I freak out.

Before I got out of my car outside of Anthropologie, I prayed, asking God to let me be confident, say what I wanted to say, and that the manager wouldn't laugh at me. (I was fully prepared for the manager to laugh at me, and for me to walk out of the store with a bright red face, never wanting to ever talk to ANYONE about the silly time that I had the NERVE to walk into Anthropologie asking for a job.)

I was confident until I stepped inside the store. Then I felt the chills in my knees. They went weak, but I kept walking until I made eye contact with one of the store employees.

"Hi!" one of them cheerfully said as she walked toward me.

"Hi! Is Christine here?" I asked. I started to forget how nervous I was...just a little.

"I'm Christine!" the very short, very pretty, very fashionable and personable girl said. I think I totally forgot how nervous I was at this point.

"Hi Christine! I'm Hayley. Here's my application for the Display Coordinator position," I said, handing it to her. "I am SO glad I got to meet you, because I wanted to let you know that there is NOTHING on my application that is going to impress you for this position, unless for some reason you're impressed with the fact that I've worked at NASA's JPL or that I have a bachelors degree in astrophysics."

Here she gave a cute, genuine laugh, an emboldening gesture for me because I had intended that to be funny.

"However, my passion is interior decorating. Anthropologie has always been a source of inspiration for me, and I know I can handle this job. I would love to be given a shot." (That was a much shorter version of the second part of the speech I had planned out in my head...I blame nerves.)

She took me seriously. She was so kind. She did ask, though, "Do you have any experience in art?"

I had to admit that I had none. She was honest with me and let me know that this position is saved for someone with a background in design who has experience with the materials and knows how to work with them.

She did offer that some people get to that position in another way, by starting as a sales clerk and working their way up. She asked if I would be interested in something like that.

I said of course. (Although, I can just hear Brent now, "A sales clerk? Babe, you have a degree, a degree in astrophysics.")

She said she was going to pass my application on to the person hiring for the summer. She thanked me for speaking with her and told me that she LOVED my energy. :)

Hey, at least I gave it a shot, right? I doubt that of all the applications they're going to get, that they're going to call me for a sales clerk position, and even if they do, Brent is probably going to help me determine that it's not the right position for me right now. But I'm glad I tried. It felt good. :)

And I'm SO thankful that the whole experience turned out to be a good memory for me, not an embarrassing one. (Thank you, God, that Christine was so nice! And that she took me seriously!)

The End. If you need me, I'll be cleaning my bathroom mirror.